Desert Botanical Garden on Valentine's Day - Spring Comes Early in Phoenix

Yesterday I went into Phoenix to the Cancer Support Community to join a group that meets weekly of other people who've been dealing with cancer, facilitated by a professional counselor. I listened eagerly to their stories, but found myself a little too empathic with their suffering, although I heard hope there, too.

After we'd finished our session, I visited the Desert Botanical Gardens. By then, it was up to 82 degrees, and I was dressed a little too warmly for comfort. Walking was an effort. I quickly tired, but there were lots of benches, and I took many photos. I had been there last fall, and had gamely explored as much of the gardens as I was able to, considering that I was still recovering from the complete hysterectomy I'd had in early October. Walking wasn't any easier this time, as I have yet to regain vitality, strength, and endurance.

I suppose there is no way that I can post on a daily basis without this also being a blog about my cancer journey, as I am feeling subsumed by it right now.

I was wandering, a little lost, through the wilder end of the park in the saguaro forest when I realized that birds were singing all around me, that happy sound birds make in the spring. I was so glad to be out of doors and listening to the birds sing, even if my body wasn't in quite the shape that I'd like it to be. As I was finding my way out to the exit, I was distracted by the blooms in the succulent garden, and found a friendly bird who seemed to be showing off for my camera while dipping its long beak in tubelike flowers.

This bird had a scratchy kind of sound that it made. I imitated it, and it flew closer to me to investigate. My encounter with this bird was magical; it was part of the paradigm shift of communicating with everything, and feeling that you are a vibrating part of all life on the planet.

I'm going to share more of my photos so that you can enjoy walking in the desert garden with me. Enjoy the flowers of the desert with me.

Next I'm going to share photos of cacti, trees, and the captivating landscape of the desert, including an oasis. Look for the dove; it's well camouflaged. And there is one odd plant that looks like it is growing flossy hair; I joked with an old couple looking at it with me that it was how my hair looked under my wig. First are two very tall century trees that supposedly only bloom once in a hundred years.

Mission Statement for Paradigm Shifts and Politics

I'm starting this blog in order to share the process that I'm going through of shifting paradigms, or, at least, in setting out to shift paradigms. I am a strong believer in the maxim, "The truth shall set you free." Of course, that doesn't work unless you change your outlook and actions when you learn the truth. Still, it sets your mind free from lies, distortions, and misinformation. You gain clarity.

So when something bubbles up for me in my dreams... or my interest gets activated by some event in the world or new ideas, I want to share my thoughts. For me, the paradigm shift to the Aquarian age means an expanded view of reality... that explores new possibilities unfettered by old ideas, that takes in the interests of all humanity, and of the planet itself. It's a shift to a higher level of spirituality, of the sacredness of life, of how our lives are all woven together in a unified field of energy.

I'm also challenging myself to post a daily blog, even if it's only a paragraph or two. I have been posting quite a bit on Facebook, which really isn't the best place for longer posts. I like to post photos as well, and Blogger makes it easy. So I'll let my Facebook friends know when I've posted a blog, and provide a link.

I also intend to interview social change activists.  For some time, I've been wondering what the next stage of my life will bring. My attempt to live in a community at Arcosanti last year was a grand failure; albeit I learned a great deal from the experience. Right on the heels of being fired there, I found out that I had not one, but two kinds of endometrial cancer, and I've now gone through three stages of treating it: surgery, chemo, and radiation.

That first half of September, after I got fired at Arcosanti, my cat went blind, I got stung by a scorpion, and a foot long centipede made its way into m my room.  Tarantulas were crawling all over the place. And my cousin Suzanne's son died of stage four cancer on 9/11... the same week that I found out that I had cancer... and diabetes.

These health challenges have both bamboozled and blessed me. I am still trying to make sense of everything that I've gone through, and coming to terms with it. Perhaps my inner life has gotten stronger; I seem to be more telepathic, but how do you measure that? My friends, family and community prayed for me, supported me emotionally and sent me healing and loving energy.

It seems more important than ever to blossom into the fully actualized person that I've always intended to become, and a big part of that is to express myself as a writer. I hope my dreams, observations, analysis and stories will touch someone who reads them.

Here's a photo of my cat, Clooney, that I took this afternoon.  I'm calling him the Mystic Cat. We often meditate together, and I go into this pure, beautiful energy we share... no words, no images, only a kind of lovely void.

Ulaanbaatar Chronicle

I should change the name of this blog since I left Qingdao and moved to Ulaanbaatar. For anyone who read about my losing my wallet, I would like you to know that it was found. A policeman came to my door and returned it; unheard of! I was deeply appreciative.

However, I eventually left Qingdao anyways, for several reasons, the primary one being that I'd completely lost patience with people in China, from the staff at the latest language school where I was teaching, to the old people staring at me hatefully, to the taxi drivers driving very slowly to increase their fares, and the lights at intersections all being set to make traffic stop for a full two minutes, even if they were only two blocks apart. I lost patient with shopkeepers and vendors all trying to charge me more money because I was foreigner, and not even being able to take advantage of sales at the local supermarket because they'd always ring my purchases up at full price because I was a foreigner.

Not that Ulaanbaatar is any better; in fact, in some ways, it's worse. I went shopping at the largest market yesterday to find shoes. The black market is a huge outdoor market that has plastic sheets for roofs over stalls. It was raining off and on and I was stepping carefully in the mud to stay out of puddles. There were hundreds and hundreds of shoe stalls, but I didn't like the styles for women's shoes and most of them were too narrow for the base of my foot, so I looked and I looked and I looked. Finally at the end I bought a pair of black shoes that look like what a witch would wear, and a pair of Adidas for running.

Well, I lost my wallet (or it was stolen), anyways it's gone and I can't find it.  I only had a couple private students last week, so my earnings didn't add up to much money, but still it was all the money I'd made that week.   

I was going to leave Qingdao and get a position teaching at a university in Thailand where I have a friend on staff, but my landlady refused to let me out of my lease.  Not only did she refuse to return the 4000 rmb deposit I had paid her, but she demanded that I pay an additional 4,000 rmb penality if I break my lease.  So I guess I'm staying.  I had offered to find another renter in my stead (and I've got a classified running the local English magazine, the Red Star, that's coming out on May 1st.)  I also said she could keep the three month's rent that I'd paid in advance, but none of this made any difference to her.

So I went through quite an emotional maelstrom over all this yesterday.  Unfortunately, my son was visiting and bore the brunt of it, but he also got me to buck up.  My Chinese teacher, Alice, who is a university student and a good friend, as well, despite the difference in our ages, also helped me through all of this.  And then Takashi, the father of the young Japanese girl who I've been teaching as a private student, also offered to help me out.  

Frankly, I was ready to kill myself and leave blood all over the apartment for the landlady to find and clean up.  I wasn't really serious but in the emotional extravaganza of a whirlpool of negativity, the idea was quite attractive.  Okay, okay, I can be quite a drama queen at times.  But this was really scraping bottom.  I have not been in that bad a frame of mind for several hours in decades, really.

This morning, I woke up and it was like a storm that had blown over.  I guess all that cesspool of fear, anxiety, despair and frustration, rage and hate just had to be released one way or another.  I hope I got it all out because I never want to go there again.  I guess this is the descension process.

It's been crazy weather this week.  I've been freezing in my apartment and the wind has been freezing outside, too.  Then it warmed up, but the wind was still blowing like crazy.  Now it's calmed down and so have I.  The sun is warm, the birds are happy, and someone nearby is drilling and hammering, as they often have in the several months that I've lived in this apartment.

I'm hoping that people's spirits will lift up with nicer weather coming in.  The scowls and long faces are starting to get to me.

Friends in China

Robert is a biopharmaceutical student at Ocean University of China in his senior year doing experiments with chemicals in the laboratory this semester.  He is charming, considerate, intelligent, and thoughtful.

Zhai Long is a university student preparing to become a doctor, which he is well-suited for because he is kind and patient.  He is also very alive and fun as a guide to see the sights. 

 

 

And more...

More Animals from Dalian Zoo